- That moment when you're losing in a fight and someone starts shouting: "Leave them, let them fight! My brother, it's either you become The Incredible Hulk or Ussein Bolt.
- MTN are now mean to the extent that when you're not having Airtime or data on your line, they'll start deducting from your battery bars.
- Somto was involved in a car crash and was crying, "Oh God! I've lost my hand. Akpors said "Don't behave like a girl, look at that man that lost his head, Is he crying?!"
- One of my white friends asked me why Nigerians always go
back to check if their car is actually locked even after hearing the lock
sound, I told him Nigerians like to be sure of everything because our village
people might have played the lock tune in our ear 
- My brother stole my phone and sent a breakup message to my girlfriend. I thought of how to punish him so I stole his phone too, changed my name to JOB UPDATE and sent a message that there's job vacancy somewhere. Presently he's on his way from Zuba to Zamfara state
- The other day when SWEDEN and DENMARK played match, the names displayed on the screen were SWE - DEN while the unused names were DEN and MARK. They formed their countries name back... Sense will not kill me...
- Sister, If your boyfriend is cheating on you, cry no more. Steal his phone oneday, copy the other girl's number, call her and act like you're his sister. Then thank her for encouraging him to take his HIV drugs regularly... Wisdom will not kill Banky oneday...
- My brother stole my phone and sent a breakup message to my girlfriend. I thought of how to punish him so I stole his phone too, changed my name to JOB UPDATE and sent a message that there's job vacancy somewhere. Presently he's on his way from Zuba to Zamfara state
- The other day when SWEDEN and DENMARK played match, the names displayed on the screen were SWE - DEN while the unused names were DEN and MARK. They formed their countries name back... Sense will not kill me...
- Sister, If your boyfriend is cheating on you, cry no more. Steal his phone oneday, copy the other girl's number, call her and act like you're his sister. Then thank her for encouraging him to take his HIV drugs regularly... Wisdom will not kill Banky oneday...
- You know, Its risky to sleep without money in your pocket.
If you enter a taxi in your dream, how will you pay?
- I wonder how Metuselah survived 969 years without android phone and power bank!!! Sha men of those days are very powerful
-One day, an elephant was walking in a park, he squished many ants with every step he took.
Other angry ants decided to revenge. They climbed his legs and then got to his body. The elephant was not comfortable, so he shook his body thorougly and all the ants fell except one that hung close to the elephant's neck. The angry ants on the floor began to shout:-
Strangle him! Strangle him!
- I wonder how Metuselah survived 969 years without android phone and power bank!!! Sha men of those days are very powerful
-One day, an elephant was walking in a park, he squished many ants with every step he took.
Other angry ants decided to revenge. They climbed his legs and then got to his body. The elephant was not comfortable, so he shook his body thorougly and all the ants fell except one that hung close to the elephant's neck. The angry ants on the floor began to shout:-
Strangle him! Strangle him!
I don't know if it's a crime to eat full corn in Nigeria,
when you just buy corn, someone just appears from nowhere and break it into two
- Guys and their indirect insults ehh, what's the meaning of "as I see this trouser I just know say na you"
- Guys and their indirect insults ehh, what's the meaning of "as I see this trouser I just know say na you"
- Any girl reading this post will get pregnant before the end of this month, and if you try to argue, you'll have twins
- A male has 53 litres of sperm in their system but some guys reading this post have 3 litres left and are not yet married!...
- All of you that told your mum, "when I grow up, I will buy aeroplane for you" I just want to remind you that you've grown up...
- You tell your friends you're broke and they're like "you're looking fresh na", So because I'm broke I should not baff again
- Men can be weird at times: If a guy posts a funny post, they just type "hehe" but when a lady posts, even when they don't understand the joke, they will type "Hahahahaha, lol, Dead & Cremated, you made my day...
- Short people wearing their laptop bags be looking like
tortoise 
- Short people are the reason we don't see money on the floor again 'coz they are close to the floor.
- Short people tend to laugh most while walking 'coz they can hear their ancestors making jokes underground
- The rate at which Naija musicians sing rubbish is disheartening, what is the meaning of,"NEPA don bring light o (x2) ah, generator wan tear mah ear"? If there's light, why must you on gen
- I was staring at a woman's breasts in an elevator, when she told me to press 1. I squeezed one of her breasts and recieved a hot slap. It was then I realized she was talking about the elevator button
- One madman was crying by the side of a river when another madman came. "Why are you crying?" He asked. "I poured sugar in this river buh it's not sweet", the 1st madman replied. The 2nd madman laughed and said,"Fool, did you mix it?"
TO BE CONTINUED
- Short people are the reason we don't see money on the floor again 'coz they are close to the floor.
- Short people tend to laugh most while walking 'coz they can hear their ancestors making jokes underground
- The rate at which Naija musicians sing rubbish is disheartening, what is the meaning of,"NEPA don bring light o (x2) ah, generator wan tear mah ear"? If there's light, why must you on gen
- I was staring at a woman's breasts in an elevator, when she told me to press 1. I squeezed one of her breasts and recieved a hot slap. It was then I realized she was talking about the elevator button
- One madman was crying by the side of a river when another madman came. "Why are you crying?" He asked. "I poured sugar in this river buh it's not sweet", the 1st madman replied. The 2nd madman laughed and said,"Fool, did you mix it?"
TO BE CONTINUED